Do you remember the last time you felt rejected? Was it a guy that never returned a phone call or text?
Or a girl that flaked in the last minute only to flake again?
Rejection hurts. It stings. It makes us feel like we’re not good enough. It causes us to question ourselves and wonder if anyone will ever really truly want us or love us for who we truly are.
But I learned a long time ago rejection isn’t something we should be afraid of.
When it comes to dating, I have learned there are two ways that we can use rejection to leverage those moments of pain, to be the greatest catalyst to our dating success and proof of our value and uniqueness.
Rejection is projection
A psychological projection is when someone subconsciously employs undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else rather than admitting to or dealing with their own unwanted feelings. This is much like a few writers on here who feel the need to bash genders to get their point across.
When we can see how the rejections we face may have more to do with another person’s inward turmoil and not our own value, our lives will change rather than shrink back, get discouraged or play it safe. We’ll realize an overused cliche is overused for a reason. The simple fact is that most of the time…
It’s not personal.
In the late 2000s, I got into the club/bar scene. I loved the thrill of the chase and “chatting up women.” If she liked you, you got a number and maybe a snog. If she really liked you, she might even agree to hook up. But despite what the movies say, the latter instances are few and far between.
But man, getting those rejections to your face was HARD! They usually followed with familiar words or sentences:
- “I have a boyfriend.”
- “You’re not my type.”
- “We’re just out with friends, thanks for saying hi, though”
- “Fuck off”
- “Go away”