They’re never going to change…

Trey Hamilton
4 min readAug 6, 2022

Hoping someone will change to be the person you actually want to be with is a romantic fantasy that will never come to fruition. Sticking around and dating someone who shows signs of change but no actual change is a waste of your time. Taking patterns and rhythms of disrespect, hoping it will change, will waste months of time you’ll never get back.

When I was 22, I did a stupid, selfish, and very mean thing.

Did I break the law?


Did I beat anyone up?


I broke someone's heart.


Because I didn’t care.

Before you think of me to be an asshole, please read on. I’m in my early 30’s now, and I’ve moved on from that brief stage in my life, and rightfully so.

I was once dating a really nice woman. Stephanie.

She was great! Friendly, slightly quirky, a little awkward at times, and a bit socially clueless. But she was hot. So 22 year old me was happy to have her on my arm as we walked the college hallways.

After three months I was bored. We didn’t have much in common, and I just found her to be rather dull.

Sorry, Steph.

I went over to her dorm and promptly tried to break up with her.

She wasn’t having any of it. She cried; she pleaded with me to, “Not do this.”

I was shocked; in the back of my mind, I knew at the very point in my life I was a selfish douchebag. So why did she want this to work so much!?

But logic was, “She’s hot, how bad can this really be?”

What followed was a 12-month toxic relationship mainly propagated by me.

In our 4th month of dating, I was even more over her. She was always complaining.

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Trey Hamilton

Author - The First Date Fix - Dating Coach - Content Creator -Dog Dad | follow me for some ramblings of a millennial who has dated. A LOT! TheFirstDateFix.Com